Taking "Stock" Of My Writing Life Versus My Career

Like the ups and downs of the stock market as of late, I too have my highs and lows when it comes to my career and writing. What I’ve found is that these two facets of my life never work in tandem with one another. In fact, they all too often rail against each other.

I try to be the diligent, proactive worker bee that is expected of me and while I’ll be temporarily thrilled with an accomplishment (presenting well at a meeting or perhaps writing a “great” marketing plan), my work highs are short and in the past few years, occur less and less. I no longer revel in the idea that the copy I wrote was used for an advertisement or that the cross-partnership I sought out has led to an increased awareness of a series. Instead, I seek refuge behind a closed office door where I can be left to daydream about more creative endeavors, though only with endless energy would I really be able to achieve them after 5 pm.

So, why all this daydreaming? Why now?

Is it because I'm just a wistful daydreamer or challenge-seeker? Perhaps. Or maybe it's because I’ve worked at three major publishing houses and have jumped in corporate ranking from assistant to Associate Director in under five years. But what do you do when you’ve reached your goal faster than you thought you would? I guess the bigger question is: what do you do when you realize that the goal you thought you wanted isn’t actually what you want?

Being on the marketing side of publishing is, in my opinion, the least glamorous. Sure, the marketing skills I’ve gained will allow me to work in any industry I choose. Yet, in this industry, marketing is the last to be thanked for a job well done though the first to be blamed for spending too much money because often times marketing isn’t something that can be quantified, like sales.

The publishing industry is also notoriously tough on its writers. With the “bottom line” now trumping an editor’s creative ambitions one can expect little thanks in the way of money, and save for one’s hopefully wonderful relationship with his or her editor, little positive feedback (which isn’t to say that at meetings it’s not being said by sales, marketing, etc. – it’s more that with little time on everyone’s hands I’m sure that much of this praise is left stuck to the walls of dank conference rooms).

So maybe I’m a bit of a masochist. To venture out of publishing and instead dedicate myself to writing would mean going from one mostly thankless position to another, right? Except that in writing, I’m in the driver’s seat and knowing that others are reading a paragraph I wrote gives me much more satisfaction that running a meeting ever will.

So maybe to be a writer you have to be a little nuts. Who else would be banging on the doors of an industry that may or may not fall prey to an increasingly digital world populated by people who don’t want to read anything besides US WEEKLY captions? Writers. It’s a good thing I don’t trade with stocks because if one were to look at publishing as a stock it’s seemingly quite shaky, but I’d still be buying it up because I believe in the power of someone’s words – even mine.